Monday, July 29, 2013

Hoof Hearted?

Hoof hearted?

Oh, hello… Your poop-brown friends here. This week we play the Pink Tacos, and we would be remiss if we did not exploit this team for what/ who they are. Vaginas.

Now listen… I love and appreciate the female anatomy as much as anyone, but it is important to note the negative connotation given to this terming when on a field of battle. As it were, history has proven to us that the tacos are largely vaginal in their style of play, and we hope to exploit that this week. They will be exploited via a number of negative actions such as:   Cooter Punch  or Vaginal Vampire



Also, in case you were previously unaware, a restaurant chain which shares the same name as our Taco friends was previously banned from franchising in Arizona. I say that we all rally behind our forward-thinking-Arizonian friends, and finally admonish these tacos for their antics, yes?

Do we fart? You bet. But opinions are like ass-holes and everybody’s got one. And at least our emissions of air are not coming from the “pink,” yes? And girls don’t actually fart because that is gross. (This last sentence is not important to the greater theme of this blog, but I suppose I just needed to clarify that.) 

Alright, see you out there, you dirty tacos.
(p.s. We secretly love you and want to lick you… after we spank you. Ok, byeeeeeeee.)

Hoof hearted? OUT!

Stepdads




Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, no fog
And fiance cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
Finally got a call from James who wants to kick about
Hooked it up on later as I hit the do'
Thinking I got kickball , under twenty-fo'
I gotta go cause I got wash my WAKA top
And if I buy those new kicks, I'd make your draw drop
Had to stop at a red light
Looking in my mirror not a Pink Taco in sight
And everything is alright
I got a call from MG and he can Flip Cup all night
Called up the StepDads and I'm askin y'all
Which field, are we playin kickball?
Get me on the field and I'm trouble
Last week made Lookin 2 Score kick into a double
Scaring Ballsagna everyway like O.J.
I can't believe, today is a good day

-Brent East




Speakin' of good days.  Check it out... One of our players got some new kicks.  I don't want to give it away, but how could you not miss these pretty shoes on the field!





Congratulations to Collin Fleck on being our Player of the Week last week with a home run!

Bad News Beers

Can we say Heat Stroke?!?!? It was hot as Hades last week, but the Beers stayed cool with a 9-6 win over We Got The Runs.( Although, they did beat us at flipcup later, so I must give props where they are deserved.)

Neuman wowed us with his homeruns and Analyshia kept them out on second. I could have scored if a certain catcher hadn't been in the way. Damn, I should have plowed them over....

This week we play Wanna Be A Baller and Oh no!!! Looks like they are undefeated! Do I see a challenge on our horizon?
With a steady kick and our witty banter, we accept!!






Pink Tacos

This week we are pumped up and ready to pimp slap Hoof Hearted? We had a week off for rest and relaxation, and now we are ready to go.  Some of us Tacos are torn this week because we love our friends on the Hoof Hearted? team, but that won’t stop us from taking down a poop brown kickball team.  We just have one word of advice, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!


We want you to know, that you are welcome to come have a pre-game drink with us, AND a post-game celebratory drink; celebrating our win of course.


1-2-3 EAT IT!


P.S. This will probably guarantee that we don’t win the blog contest, but this video clip reminds me of our commishiner M.G. (look I used the periods!) I hope you all agree with me…






Nonsensical Ninjas

Well, it seems we might have under trained last week with those 100,000,000 kicks that we talked about. Kickelob Ultra is a fine and solid squad so first of all we'll give props to the winning team. Now, that being said, we played the worst game of kickball seen since 1st grade special ed class.  We dropped at least 5 or 6 easy balls, and couldn't kick to save our lives.  My 5 year old son could have scored multiple runs against us that day, and he doesn't have any legs (not true, they're just really little legs, and to be fair he's already a soccer stud).


After the 2-1 loss we stayed through nightfall to workout some kinks, and continued our ninja training throughout the week.



Another Practice Sunday for the Denver Tourney, then on to Tuesday where another worthy opponent "Balls in Dootie" will be taken to the wood shed (like WAKA Texas Ranger week 2). Nothing personal, just caught us on a rebound week.




With a little sweat, luck and tips from Ninja Diemon Daves we should be ready to go!



your sensei and Nonsensical Ninjas



Monday, July 22, 2013

Nonsensical Ninjas

"I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times."

--Bruce Lee


Bad news for KICKELOB ULTRA, while y'all were out booze'n all weekend, we've practiced 10,000 kick, 10,000 times. I know, its hard to believe we could get any better...






PS, don't worry Jack Booty Thongs, we haven't forgot about you. Week 1 the lights saved you, Week 2 the rain, and week 3 your Bye.  NOTHING will save you come week 4!


your sensei & Nonsensical Ninjas,
Rhinoe

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Stepdads



This season is off to a great start.  We have won against two tough opponents and are looking forward to playing Drunk and Looking to Score.  They are a talented bunch, but I think they are beatable.  This weekend the Stepdads had a practice session that was closed to the media.  We watched film, we studied our own swings and throws, and we are improved and ready to show we are a team in contention of the championship.  

Last week against the Kickin' Nuggets, Dillon was our Player of the Game.  Not only did he bring jello shots and gummy bears, but he also had one the most circus catches I have ever seen.  I wish it was recorded somewhere.  

If you aren't playing at 7:45 this is the game to watch!