Pitches Be Crazy

Some days you show up to win, and some days you show up because it is required of you. I’m not saying we aren’t competitive, but when you play the Cher team of the league, the team with one name, its understandable that we showed up a little intimidated. We may look pretty, but our game was far from it. We weren’t sloppy drunk yet, but our game was.

It started off on a good note, coach Chelsea caught a line drive down the 3rd baseline. The kickball gods just wanted to give us a sliver of hope, because then they loaded the bases. A bobble later would score 2. Bradey then woke up in a new Bugatti and would turn up. We would close the inning out.

We got to clap our hands in celebration once in the bottom of the 1st. Jeremy was able to beat out a bunt, and would advance to second. However, that would be about it. I was able to take about 3 drinks from my beer, before we were called back to the field.

OKC would take over in the top of the 2nd. They scored plenty in that inning. Not sure if the alcohol was setting in or if my brain is just trying to block out that portion of time because it makes me feel dejected. but all I remember is white Jackie Chan taking the plate. If you’ve played them, you know who I’m talking about with that spinning cross-kick. I’m sure he would be a very popular luchador in the underground Mexican Wrestling circuit. They scored a bunch, and I started thinking about how much tequila I needed to drink to feel happy again.

Can we skip our at bats in the 2nd? Actually, can we skip our plate appearances all together? I’m not saying we didn’t have anything that wasn’t blog worthy. To be honest, once I realized we probably weren’t going to score, my priorities changed to drowning the sadness that was occurring. I was drinking out of a styrofoam cup, so it might have been destined to be a sad day anyway.

I’m not sure if we were just committing less errors, or if OKC lost interest in us, but they didn’t score for a while. Sure, we learned that they could jump and roll past our throws, and Chelsea even learned why hands are so important in kickball. Seriously, have you ever seen anyone chest bump a line drive? Dude, she jumped up right into it. I’m not sure if she thought the force would pop the ball, which would cause an automatic game over, or if she thought the ball would just stick right in the middle of her chest. All I know is, her boobs are not thanking her for it.

Lets keep it short, partially because we didn’t do anything of significance but more because I’ve been dogging tornados and grapefruit sized hail all night, and Coach Chelsea is already going to be pissed I turned this in late. OKC would score again, we wouldn’t. It was a lot to a little. I learned something though, even with our sad faces, we’re still a bunch of pretty pitches. Who do we have next? I don’t know, can’t look because time is running out and Chelsea might possibly kill me. But whoever it is, I know we won’t play that way again. You ballers stay sane, my Pitches Be Crazy.